Although I am a strong advocate for chastity/purity/celibacy I am not naïve, let’s face it $#!+ happens:
I disagree with sex on the first date but I can assure you, you can wait 90 days or even a year to have sex and a man can still leave you. So whether a woman had sex on the first date or waited until commitment if they both never marry that man then I’m sorry to all the self righteous women out there; YOU ARE IN THE SAME BOAT.
I am currently practicing celibacy. It has been the toughest part of my walk, I don’t do this to be better than others because I’m not. I have followed many Christian blogs directed toward Women and the issues they face and I agree with the message they are saying. We as women MUST practice chastity, I am the softest girly girl I know and I’m aware that once I give my body away my heart follows.
I will be the first to admit that I have deeply regretted every sexual encounter I have had with a man or sometimes “grown boy” I have laid down with because non of them where worth the love I had to give and the bond only that sex creates, me not waiting till marriage did not come from a place of self love and security and non of the men were strong enough to catch me when I fell for them. I don’t regret not being a virgin and I do not wish to be, my experiences have made me who I am today and I like who I am but the unnecessary pain and heartbreak could have been avoided.
Sex awakens love on a woman’s heart, this is why older women like our mothers can tell when we have slept with a man. Sex is more meaningful to a woman because sex happens inside her. A man must come inside her, inside her body, inside her womb the most sacred and holy place because this is where life is created. As TD Jakes put it; for a woman who is a virgin the hymen represents a covenant with God like how men in the bible would sacrifice a spotless pure lamb to God to make a covenant with Him.
The act of losing your virginity is a holy and sacred thing, so to the women who have not lost theirs, from one sister to another I urge you to wait. You will never regret waiting to have sex with a man who actually cares for you and loves you enough that he wants to spend his entire life with you. This is not because sex is bad but because it is so beautiful it shouldn’t be shared with any man who can walk out of your life when its over.
To those of you like me who have made that mistake of sharing your body before marriage I don’t ever want you to feel dirty, or that you are not worthy to be loved, of sometimes that you are a slut.
Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
Satan wants you to feel like that because when you do you WILL engage in skanky behavior. I have had a man tell me “Since you have had sex before there is nothing to ‘wait’ for” Don’t believe a guy who says this, he is only try to make you feel worthless so he can use your body like a trash can. Thank God I had enough sense to walk away before anything happened! If there was nothing to wait for then why was he trying to experience sex with me? Remember if guys still wanna hit it – IT’S STILL VALUABLE! Each time you have sex it’s like you are giving away a million dollars & a woman can decide to close the bank at ANYTIME… It is never too late to start your journey to purity.
2 Corinthians 5:17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:a The old has gone, the new is here! 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sinb for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
And I will let you in on a secret, so make sure you are paying attention. You know that saying “if you don’t use it you will lose it?” WELL ITS TRUE. After a year of no sex your vagina does snap back to how it was before that, you even forget what sex feels like, obviously your hymen doesn’t come back but I believe that God can restore that covenant if you ask Him to. I am not saying this because I want women to chase “second virginity” because there is NO SUCH THING, I am saying this because someone needs to hear this and motivate themselves to remember WHY they are choosing purity.
When a woman has sex she is not only sharing her body but her spirit. A man doesn’t feel it as deeply and that is why he can get up and go immediately but a woman wants to cuddle and talk; and secretly we want more romantic things after we sleep with a man. We become enamored and that is because of oxytocin in our bodies and SOUL TIES because we are married to the man in the spiritual realm. I will go in detail much later on the blog.
To conclude my testimony i will say this:
I am thoroughly sure that my body was never meant to be given away for a one night stand or to a “boyfriend” because my heart is too frigle to be handled carelessly. I’m the type of woman who gives her all in love and God has shown me I’m not girlfriend material I am wife material. I just want to encourage women out there to know their worth and to wait with me for the man God has as our spouse.
How often does the world talk about sex of all kinds? Daily. Every second of every hour of every day. Do Christians need to talk about sexual purity? Yes! Even MUCH more than we do. We need to get loud about the fact that we are remaining pure, and that doesn’t make us freaks. Because the world sure is loud about the very opposite.
True and right purity lasts long after your wedding night.
If you are a virgin, good for you. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it. Wait until marriage and you WILL be blessed for it. Period. Encourage others to wait with you. If you are not a virgin, go and sin no more. That’s all. From this day forward, you can choose not to sin any longer. You can wait for marriage. Encourage others to wait with you. We can ALL choose to keep sex inside of marriage. We can ALL do it because God said so. It your decision and it’s mine.
I’m waiting, will you wait with me?