There was a time in society where just about all men were considered to be masculine, and just about all women were considered to be feminine. This was a good thing. Masculinity tends to attract femininity, and vice versa. There is a reason why men and women possess different hormones and different genitalia.
Then came the Second Wave of Feminism in the 1960s, and everything changed.
Are men still men? Are women still women?
In today’s society, you now have many women who are more masculine than many of the men, and many men who are more effeminate than many of the women. Is this a good thing for society? In a word, no.
There are more divorces than ever. There are more instances of domestic violence than ever. There are more single mothers raising children by themselves than ever. This is not by accident. This is not a mere coincidence.
How appealing are women who are ‘bitches?’
I was on Amazon.com recently, and I could not help but to notice that the top selling book in the dating advice category was Author Sherry Argov’s Why Men Love Bitches and not too far behind in sales was her companion book, Why Men Marry Bitches. The popularity of these two books is a testimony to the sad state of affairs between men and women in today’s dating scene.
If you have read my previous articles, you already know that I tend to delineate men into at least two different categories: ‘Alpha’ males (i.e., men who are very masculine, have a strong sense of backbone, very dominant and uncompromising, and generally perceived by most women to be seductive and good in bed) and ‘Beta’ males (i.e., men who are very accommodating with women; very flattering and entertaining toward women; very lenient and compromising with women; and very financially generous and emotionally empathetic with women).
What Alpha male type do you know who genuinely wants to be in a long-term romantic relationship with a woman who is a ‘bitch?’ What Alpha male type do you know who genuinely wants to be married to a woman who is considered by many to be a hard-to-get-along-with ‘bitch?’ Please introduce him to me.
The only motivation any Alpha male type has for socially interacting with a woman who is a ‘bitch’ is to execute the confident expectation of ‘turning her out’ (i.e., having sex with her in such a dominating and satisfying manner that it provokes her to ‘unleash’ her more feminine side, her more erotically uninhibited side, and her more submissive side). Beyond that, there is nothing appealing about an ‘Alpha female’ to an Alpha male.
Many women aspire to become a ‘Bossy Bitch’
A few months ago, I read a status comment posted by a young Black woman on Facebook that read, “I love Beyoncé because she is such a Bossy Bitch. No one can touch her!!” Maybe Jay-Z loves having a ‘bossy bitch’ as a wife. I sure would not. I mean, what part of the game is that?
When a woman is very controlling and domineering, and she gives birth to a son, I can almost guarantee you that her son is going to go off in one of two directions as he gets older: Either he is going to a) grow up to very effeminate in his behavior toward both other men and women, or b) rebel against the influence of his mother, and more-than-likely become some sort of very macho acting street ‘thug’ in an attempt to compensate for not having a strong male presence in his life.
Personally, I have never witnessed a marriage or long-term relationship lasting indefinitely when both the man and the woman in the relationship were both dominant. Such a relationship or marriage simply does not work. Even among Gay couples and Lesbian couples, usually one partner is the dominant ‘Alpha’ while the other partner is the more passive and submissive ‘Beta.’
Bulls, Cuckolds, and Hotwives
Most dominant women will rarely if ever confess this publicly, but the reality is, no woman is sincerely sexually turned on by a man who is erotically submissive. It is simply not in their genetic code to be. Now, make no mistake: Women LOVE men who are FINANCIALLY accommodating and submissive. No doubt. But again, I have never met a woman in my life who admitted to being sexually aroused by a man who had a very obedient and submissive nature about him.
This is related to my article about the concept of ‘sexual duplicity.’ This is why many women behave in one manner toward some men, and a totally different manner toward other men. For example, in what is known as a ‘Bull-Hotwife-Cuckold’ relationship (which is a blend of the BDSM lifestyle and the Polyamory lifestyle), a woman who is the designated ‘Hotwife’ (a title she carries even if she is not legally married) will behave in an ultra-submissive and sexually obedient manner with her Bull(s), but conversely, she will be totally dominant toward her more submissive Cuckold, who is essentially her indefinite Sugar Daddy and/or financial provider.
It is one thing for a man to CHOOSE to become a woman’s cuckold, but it is more disheartening for a man to become a woman’s unknowing cuckold by circumstance. There are many men right now who have no idea that they are their wife or girlfriend’s cuckold while some other more erotically dominant man is treating that same woman as if she is his personal slut.
Many Black women are desperately in need of femininity training
I believe the Black community has arguably the highest percentage of women who seem to have a blatant aversion to the idea of being ultra-feminine around men and erotically submissive to many men. And with the growing number of effeminate, passive, no-backbone having Black men finding their way into mainstream society, the plight of dating and relationships among Black dating singles is going to progressively get worse.
As long as there are weak Beta male types of all ethnicities who are able to earn six-figure, seven-figure, and eight-figure salaries, there will always be dominant women waiting in the wings to become their Hotwife.
What are the solutions?
If you have a son, raise him to be a strong man with balls and backbone. Teach him not to tolerate any disrespectful, spoiled, and/or undesirable behavior in general exhibited by women.
If you are a single heterosexual man, stop behaving like a thirsty, weak Beta male toward women. Stop giving away your non-sexual attention and companionship for free. Make women earn your attention and companionship. Stop being a ‘Captain Save-a-Ho’ and/or a fawning ‘White Knight’ toward women. Grow some balls and strengthen your backbone.
If you happen to be a woman reading this, and you are a self-proclaimed ‘bossy bitch,’ let me ask you: Are you happy being single? Are you happy being married to a weak Beta male type? Do you want to raise a son without a father, or with a father who has no apparent backbone? The womanizing Alphas and Bulls will leave you alone once you reach 40, 45, or 50. Are you ready for that?
Today’s dating scene among singles is a mess. If things do not change and improve quickly, it will only get worse. Men need to reclaim their God-given roles as the leaders in a marriage and any romantic relationship. Women need to regain their femininity and sex appeal.
Next thing you know, women will be wearing business suits and men will be wearing skirts.
Oh. My bad. We’re already there.
ONLY”Princess” Tiana married an irresponsible, broke prince who had been disinherited. She has a job too, he does not. So sad.😭
She joined her husband in the bedroom. Their children were asleep.He was busy reading the newspaper.She looked at him.”My love, there’s something I need to confess” she began to speak.”What is it?” he asked without looking at her, his face still glued to the newspaper.”I have been unfaithful” she said.
He looked at her with fiery eyes.He slapped her.
For the first time in their marriage, he slapped her.
“How could you woman?! Seventeen years of marriage, four children and this is what you do to me? You cheat on me? Foolish? How can you stoop so low?” he shouted.
He got up from the bed. He started pacing as he continued shouting, “You are the one who always tells me to keep off women.
Out of respect, I keep females at a distance and you on the other hand do this?”He was just about to pounce on his wife and beat her. The sting of unfaithfulness enraged him.A knock was heard on the door.
Their first born, Maria, a fourteen year old girl walked in their bedroom.”Mom, dad; is everything OK?” Maria asked.
“Get out! Get out!” he shouted as his daughter.”It’s OK Maria, Dad and I will sort this out. Go to sleep” She told their first born daughter, Maria.Maria walked out of their bedroom.
“Who is it? Who have you been unfaithful with? Give me his phone number. He will know today who I am” he shouted trying to grab his wife’s phone.She humbly took her phone.”Show me his number. Show me his face. Filthy animal who is snatching my wife” he shouted some more.
“This is the man I have been unfaithful with” she said giving her husband her phone.Her husband looked at the screen of her phone and saw his own face and phone number.”Me?!” he asked puzzled looking at her.”Yes, I have been unfaithful with you.
I have been unfaithful to God because I have been so busy loving you. In my effort to try being a good wife, I have forgotten God” she said.He sat down on the bed, confused.
“When you met me, I was so devoted to God. In fact, you used to tell me that the most important reason you chose me as your wife was because of my devotion to God.
I loved the Godly man you used to be. We would pray and long to have a Godly family together. I remember the days I would fast and pray and tell God that if He blesses me with a good job, I will dedicate my career to Him.
God did bless me, God blessed you, God blessed us. We did so well professionally, we got good money, we could afford a good wedding. We got married” she explained.He looked at her intently.
She continued, “The first few months of our marriage, we would pray as a family, go to Church, have fellowships, worship and Bible Study; but slowly, we stopped living by that Scripture that says as for me and my household we will serve the Lord. We started having children who we failed to raise in the Godly way. With success, we changed our friends.
We found the born again friends boring. We started worshiping money, success and materials. Look at us now, we live in a big house but God is absent. You started taking me to unGodly places to have fun, we started drinking too much, our children ashamed by our drinking”He looked away from her.
“In order to please you, I changed too; thinking that being a good wife means tagging along with everything you do. I didn’t confront you when you started going astray, I didn’t pull you back to God, I got lost with you.
So lost, that I started becoming proud, shallow, self-centered; all along thinking I am being a good wife. But this is not me. I have changed so much from the woman you found me. We both have changed much”He looked at her.
“All these. The good house, the good meals we eat, the money we have, the comfortable life; they have made us forget the God who gave them to us. I am nothing without God and I feel ashamed that I have abandoned the God responsible for all I am and have. We have started having troubles in our marriage, because the Lord is no longer building our love, we are doing it on our own and we will fail if we keep on like this”She reached out and touched his hand.
“I want to go back to the woman I used to be. A woman after God’s own heart. I miss the peace that God gives, I miss worship, I miss reading the Word, I miss going to Church and fellowship, I miss meditating, I miss praying with you. What does it profit me to gain a good marriage yet lose my soul, my God? I am going back to God.
Only as a wife submitted to God, will I be the best wife to you and the best mother to our children. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God, but I cannot bring favour to you if I continue being disconnected from God. I want my spiritual life back. I want God back in our home, our marriage, our family”.
He started breaking down in tears. His spirit convicted.
He held her tightly in his arms.”I am sorry. I am sorry for going astray and taking you with me. You chose to marry me because you thought you are marrying a Godly man. I miss being that Godly man.
Marriage shouldn’t be a stumbling block in our walk with God. The thought of you cheating on me ripped my heart apart, I cannot even begin to imagine how God feels when we are unfaithful to Him. God having blessed us this much and we turn our backs on Him.
At the thought of you cheating on me I was filled with rage, yet God patiently looks at us in our unfaithfulness desiring us to go back to Him. I want to go back too. I want more in my life than these earthly things, I want God. I want the God of my youth. I am so sorry for slapping you”.
That night, they knelt down and repented, rededicated their lives and marriage to God. The Prodigal Couple came back to God.
The next morning, they prayed together with their children.
God returned back to that home, because that couple returned back to God. Please share
What a wonderful picture that honors his masculine and protective nature!
MARCH 29, 2014
I should start a movement called Lean Out—or maybe Lean Back. It’d be for all the parents who accept that sacrifice is part of having a family. It’d be about honoring the vitally important, taxing work moms at home—and dads, for that matter—do every day for the good of their families and for the betterment of society.
At the TED talk that launched Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In movement, Sandberg discussed what amounted to her assumptions about why there aren’t more women at the top. At only one point during this speech, and for a total of one minute, did Sandberg get personal: when she admitted it’s difficult to leave a child who’s pulling on your leg, begging you to stay with him, as you walk out the door each morning. For Sandberg, that’s where the conversation ends.
For most women, that’s where it begins.
The Lean In movement may resonate for the minority of women whose identities are inextricably linked to their jobs and who have no problem leaving their babies, if they have them, with substitute caregivers on a full-time basis. But it’s a terrible message for the average woman who wants to find balance in her life. And it’s a terrible message for mothers, employed or otherwise, who want to spend more time—not less—with their children.
That’s why most of Sandberg’s supporters are either older women whose children have flown the coop or twenty-something women who have yet to look in the eyes of their toddler who’s begging them to stay—only to find themselves peeling their child’s fingers off their arms the way Sandberg described at her TED talk.
That is not a position most women wish to be in.
But they wouldn’t mind, Sandberg insists, if employers would simply get with the program and offer women better parental leave and childcare options! Hogwash.
For one thing, providing such policies does not guarantee women will take advantage of them. Arlie Hothschild proved this in spades in her 1997 book, The Time Bind. She studied a Fortune 500 company for three years and determined that despite the availability of parental leave and childcare policies, most women chose not to participate. That’s because you can’t make women who want to be at work want to be at home, any more than you can make women who want to be at home want to be at work.
Moreover, research from Public Agenda shows most parents in America are “satisfied with their current child care arrangements” and are indeed not clamoring for more and better childcare.
For years feminists like Sandberg have been doing their damndest to separate mothers and their children by claiming a woman’s true value rests in the workplace. Their message today is no different than what it was forty years ago.
What they never discuss—ever—is how this Brave New World affects women’s psyches or the well being of America’s children. They never discuss a child’s need to bond with his mother or the visceral need mothers have to be with their children because they either don’t understand it or don’t care.
They also leave out any discussion of biology because that, they believe, locks women and men into strict gender roles. But male and female nature is real and unchanging. The female brain, for example, is saturated in oxytocin—known among scientists as the “bonding hormone.” Women are emotionally connected to their children in a unique and primal way.
That doesn’t mean dads can’t take care of babies and moms can never get jobs. But it does mean most women will want to rock that cradle. It’s also why 62% of employed mothers say they’d prefer to work part time and 79% of employed fathers say they’d prefer to work full time. No amount of cajoling women into the office or demanding men stay home with the kids is going to change this reality.
Yes, there more mothers at work than ever before. But that doesn’t mean work is most women’s priority. Many, in fact, resent having to be there at all.
That women like Sandberg aren’t like most women is no reason to create movements and policies that encourage mothers to separate from their children. Women who lean out, if only temporarily, are doing what’s best for their children, themselves and their families.
Their sacrifices are great, but their consciences are clear.