The Hard Choice of Staying Home

Today, choosing to stay home with your kids is a hard choice. The fact that this is true is made all the more clear by the increasingly smaller number of mothers choosing to do so.

More and more it is assumed that children will stay with grandma, relatives, be put in daycare, or go to after-school programs. For many women, there isn’t even a choice involved. This is simply what people do today.

But being in the workforce has shown me the other side of the coin. How do working mothers usually feel about it? Frazzled. Rushed. Sometimes guilty, but mostly that the work never stops and there is never enough time in the day.

Even if I did not feel biblically convicted that staying home with my children was the best possible use of my time, I think that observing the lives of working mothers would cause me to retreat from it out of the sheer lack of peace.

The fact that a working mother’s life is not easy and that she often feels pulled in every direction by the different spheres of her life is very real phenomenon for countless mothers today. The extent to which this is a part of our culture, is made clear in movies like Sarah Jessica Parker’s recent film, “I Don’t Know How She Does It.”

Consider Parker’s own testimony, as per the LA Times:

“When I was leaving for work this morning I was thinking about my kids, and how it felt like a real act of betrayal,” Parker said last February on the New York set of the film. “That helps me appreciate the conflict that exists for this particular character and countless women across the globe. I can understand the purgatory we put ourselves in.”(Emphasis mine)

Truly, in my own opinion, Parker’s words are true. As a single woman looking in on the rushed schedule of a working mother, it looks like purgatory.

Consider the schedule of many working moms: up early to get herself ready before the kids get up; get the kids dressed and fed; collect all of the possible things they will need for the day and load them into the car; drive them to school, grandma’s, or the sitter’s; drive to work; work an eight-hour day; deal with coworkers, the boss, and work demands; drive to pick the children up from school, grandma’s, or the sitter’s; drive home; make dinner; do laundry, chores, clean; try to squeeze in time for husband and children; put children to bed…. Repeat.

It is no wonder that many women feel burdened by this lifestyle. It is a burdensome lifestyle.

My question is: has Feminism put so much pressure on women to work that this pressure continues to be felt by them even when it is counterproductive and economically unwise?

Surely there are cases where a mother has to work outside the home. But in many cases, women are simply working outside the home because they feel like they have to be outside the home in order to fulfill the world’s expectations for them. These mothers would like to be home with their children, but they don’t see how it is possible. Some even are deceived into thinking that their choice is an economically wise choice when they have never sat down and accounted the real economic benefit that working outside the home is for their family.

Consider, for example, that most working mothers in the workforce are not making large salaries. While there are exceptions, most mothers are usually younger and less advanced in their careers, not to mention the fact that most people (men or women) out there aren’t pulling in large salaries in the first place. Many people work in factories, retail, and other lower-paying jobs.

For a woman who makes minimum wage, there is no debating that paying someone to watch her children while she is at work makes little sense. If she has even more than one child, it is likely that she could not find someone to watch her kids for as much as she makes.

For mothers making above minimum wage, in the range anywhere from $9.00 to $20.00 an hour, it still seems like an unwise economic choice. Childcare is expensive, and good childcare is even more expensive. When you add this to the money a mother could spend on gas, professional attire, eating out, and other expenses, my guess is that most mothers would see just how little their paycheck is earning them each week.

In some cases, women are really working for less than minimum wage when you deduct the cost of working from what they make.  We wouldn’t take a job for $4.00 an hour, and yet somehow it makes sense in the case of a working mother. Huh?

So why do mothers who fall into this category continue to work? While it is most likely that they have never sat down and counted the cost, it could be that they look down on staying at home or feel others would look down on them.

I recognize that staying home today is culturally a hard choice for a working mother to make. But when you really look at the cost, both financially and in losing out on being there with your children, as well as the lack of peace that comes  with busing children around and getting yourself to work, is it really that hard? To me the choice seems loud and clear.

It makes much more sense to give the best of your time and hard work to your children and your husband—not your boss or coworkers. Mothers have so much to offer, and it seems a pity their energy should be used up working on a career for a company that at the end of the day cares very little about them. Even having worked in an office with a good environment and people that I really liked, I knew that it was nothing to be compared to the atmosphere and the support I have at home.

How often do such women wish they had more time? A little more control of their own work schedule? Why not stay home and enjoy let you and your husband decide how you will spend your time to the benefit of your own family? If you have talents and expertise, don’t think it will be wasted. Why not put it to use for your family? Are you a good manager? Why not manage your home? Do you excel at cutting costs or rooting out areas of un-productivity? Why not put it to use for your family?

What a pity it is that culture tells us that it makes sense for us to give the best hours of our day submitting to and serving either a boss or coworkers or a company or a corporation, but that it makes no sense to serve and work for our own husbands and children in our own homes!

At the end of my life, I know what will have been more important and more worthwhile of an investment, no matter how much culture says otherwise!

This piece was originally posted on Tiffany’s blogTrue Femininity

To The Pregnant Single Woman/Girl

I know that carrying around a big belly for 9 months, not married, and young is extremely hard. Even embarrassing and shameful at times. Like you’re wearing your sins for all to see. That is ONLY the way that society sees you. That is the way that people who don’t deserve to cast judgement on you see you. You are making God so proud by being such a courageous, strong, and selfless young woman by giving that baby life. That’s how I would see you. That’s how anybody who’s ever faced this situation would see you. There is a long long long waiting list for babies, and you can set up adoption plans easily at pregnancy centers. ~ http://singleyoungchristianmom.wordpress.com/page/2/

A Healthy Woman Nutures Her Family

A healthy woman who stays home to nurture her family, will take that as seriously as she knows how to, and when you know better, you do better! Any working woman can offer the basics: minimal cooking, cleaning, sex & neat children. Certified wives know how to get to the depths of feminine nurturing…the emotional, spiritual, moral, success, integrity, legacy, growth, etc of her family!

Adore your black woman, don’t work her like a man! Slavery is over, and our women are not men. Know the benefits of the housewife/mother?

You might not know these benefits, because you didn’t have a full time house mother…you might even think that the stay home wife/mother is useless without bringing in money. Here are just 12 of her gifts:

1. Corrects children about every 5 minutes…this is called raising children in most parts of the world.

2. Teaches sons & daughters that family unity & warmth comes first.

3. Keeps everyone physically & emotionally healthy.

4. Has enough energy for daily sex.

5. Has enough energy to be happy.

6. If knows her duties well, will be busy all day at home organizing, cleaning, cooking, planning, bringing warmth, and uplifting everyone’s self esteem.

7. Teaches her wisdom & how to properly live, love, eat, manage finances, and grow mentally, emotionally & spiritually.

8. Nurtures everyone’s goals & overall success.

9. Is the temperament of the calm of the home & the manager of happiness.

10. Affects husband so greatly that he can make much more money in less time.

11. Models to sons and daughters how to secure the next generation in a super quality lifestyle of tradition and success.

12. Can stay feminine enough (because working is a masculine act) to stay soft and beautiful enough to continue nurturing at a high level.

Men, ACCESS CODE REQUIRED By Nojma Muhammed

Men, you are giving to many unqualified women too much power when you place your seed in the womb of a woman that is unable to reproduce you mentally, emotionally and spiritually. That is why I always stress the importance of who we chose to lie down with. Releasing your seed doesn’t just mean the signal of pleasure; it is also the moment your seed becomes PLANTED.

A man has no access to his seed for nine months. He has to trust the mother to think proper thoughts, to study and nurture his seed. He can protect the environment around her, but she is responsible for protecting the environment around her womb. So again, while the quality of the seed is important, the quality of the WOMB is even more important.”
Now some refuted that a man DOES have access to his seed, I can prove the above to be one hundred percent correct. Let me use myself as an example. I am married, and while my husband and I plan on building our legacy and reproducing him will be a pleasure, if I chose to I could make our child hate him from the WOMB. I could TELL him I love him all day, but train our child to hate him. If my husband spoke to our child, I could teach our child to know and hate his voice. With my mind and my thoughts, if I had the desire I could turn our child against my husband in my womb.

This is why I stated that a man has NO access to his seed, unless the Woman DECIDES to give him access via positive thoughts and he is literally placing his future at the mercy of the woman that is carrying his seed. We as women have been given the beautiful privilege and honor of being the Co-Creators of life, but many of us are abusing that privilege.

Men, when you are looking at woman in a sexual manner, you are looking at your potential future. Make sure that you look beyond the shapely curves, the hips, the pretty face and look into HER MIND; that’s is where the ground needs to be the MOST fertile, and as I have stated before, if you can’t trust her with your life, then you most certainly can’t trust her with your legacy.

A Letter To Homemakers

I know how hard it is sometimes to continue on, But we just have to remember WHO it is we are doing it for, WHO we are trying to please. I hope this blesses you as much as it has helped me.

A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life. She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother.

She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband, and children would make a difference.

At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated.

“Is it worth it?” she often wondered. Is there something better I could be doing with my time? It was during these moments of questioning that she heard the still small voice of the Father speak to her heart:

“You are a wife and mother because that is what I called you to be. Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye. But I notice.

Much of what you do is without remuneration. But I am your reward. Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without your support. Your influence upon him is greater than you will ever know. I bless him through your service and honor him through your love,

Your children are precious to me. Even more precious than they are to you. I have entrusted them into your care to raise for me.

What you invest in them is an offering to me true, You may never be in the public spotlight. But your obedience shines as a bright light before me. Continue on. Remember, you are my servant.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Php 4:19

“Nobody ought to have more than one or, at most, two children in this day and time.”

Who said so? God didn’t. Do you want the heathen to populate the world? Do you want the drunks, the perverts, the infidels to fill up the world? What a crazy idea! God wants Christians to raise up children in a godly family.

Let’s Talk About Infertility

At last, intelligent women are starting to speak out about how they’ve been misled about basic facts of reproductive science. Postponing childbearing past age 30 involves a significant risk of infertility. And because the risks of birth defects (especially Down’s Syndrome) are much greater for pregnancies after age 35, delayed motherhood reduces a woman’s chances of having healthy children.

http://www.today.com/id/45262603

This here is a research article written by Robert McCain who studied feminist theory and has written a book on it:

Colleges are failing to educate young women about reproductive risks that endanger their chances of ever bearing
children, Dr. Miriam Grossman says.

Most young women have “no idea how much fertility declines with age,”
said Dr. Grossman, a psychiatrist and counselor at the University of
California at Los Angeles.

Campus health centers and women’s studies programs have encouraged an
“ignorance of basic female biology,” she said in a presentation this
week at the National Press Club sponsored by the Clare Boothe Luce
Policy Institute (CBLPI).

“There is so much focus on preventing pregnancy … a vital truth is
being lost,” Dr. Grossman said, citing medical studies about age-
related infertility, especially the sharp decline in women’s fertility
after age 30. Young women are being “lulled into a false sense of
security” about these risks, she said, even as “the offices of
fertility clinics are full” of women in their 30s desperately hoping
to conceive.

News accounts about celebrities who give birth in their 40s and
coverage of treatments such as in-vitro fertilization (IVF) have
created “unrealistic expectations” about delayed motherhood, Dr.
Grossman said. In fact, the success rate for IVF at age 39 is only 8
percent, she said.

While feminists and pro-choice groups such as Planned Parenthood
emphasize the importance of “complete and accurate information” in sex
education, Dr. Grossman blames “politically correct thinking” for the
failure to inform young women about “the risks of delaying parenthood
indefinitely.”

“We don’t want to acknowledge that our biology is different from
men’s,” said Dr. Grossman, who recently became a senior fellow at
CBLPI, a conservative women’s organization. She is author of
“Unprotected: A Campus Psychiatrist Reveals How Political Correctness
in Her Profession Endangers Every Student.”

The book was published anonymously last year, Dr. Grossman said,
because the very environment the book described meant it might hurt
her career at UCLA. The book has been reissued in paperback with her
name on the cover.

The institute will co-sponsor speaking appearances by Dr. Grossman at
colleges nationwide, said Jessica Cantelon, a spokeswoman for the
organization.

Let’s Face It, Girls: The Sexual Revolution Was a Mistake

The Independent Women’s Forum published its Autumn 1997 issue of its Women’s Quarterly (2111 Wilson Blvd., Suite 550, Arlington, VA 22201, $5), and it was guaranteed to enrage the feminists. Called “Let’s Face It, Girls: The Sexual Revolution Was a Mistake,” it leveled a broadside attack on the feminists for teaching young women that liberation and fulfillment come from romping around like men in casual sex while building their all-important careers. They were angry because they discovered too late that the cost of uncommitted sexual relationships is that “the window for getting married and having children is way smaller than one can possibly foresee at age 25.”

So, we hear the anguish of babyless fortyish women frustrated by their inability to get pregnant, spending their money and tears on chemicals and on clinics dispensing procedures with high failure rates. They’ve even realized that a lot of female infertility comes from exposure to sexually transmitted diseases, and that’s a high price to pay for those dead-end serial relationships.

Infertility is a serious problem affecting women in their 30s, the risk of birth defects is substantially higher for older mothers and, beyond this, there are other considerations to keep in mind. Suppose you become a mom for the first time at age 23. You’ll be 39 when your child turns 16 and gets a driver’s license, and not yet 45 when your kid graduates college. If you delay motherhood until you’re 38, well, just do the math.

Is parenthood a task best performed by the young and energetic, or by weary middle-aged folks?

I plead with any young woman reading this, in all humility, that you will decide to pursue the greatest role on earth, now while you’re still young—MOTHERHOOD. Don’t let some demonically inspired fool talk you out of your baby—whether it be by abortion, or causing you to pursue a vain career that will render you childless if those frozen eggs somehow get destroyed. Trust God.

Daycares Don’t Care

As more working parents entrust their infants to daycare, some researchers are warning that daycare at too early an age may psychologically harm a child.” ~The Wall Street Journal

Studies show toddlers in daycare to be insecure, more anxious, aggressive, hyperactive, and more likely to cry and misbehave at ages nine and ten.

Contrary to popular belief, getting sick in daycare does NOT help kids build up their immunities*!

“The typical daycare center…spreads far more infection and communicable disease than the county jail.” Science Shams & Bible Bloopers by David Mills, ©2000, p 165-166

“This is not surprising: (Day care) exposes babies and toddlers to large numbers of biological strangers, many of whom are not toilet trained and who drool, making day care a breeding ground for infectious disease.” Day Careless, by Maggie Gallagher,a Nationl Review, 26-Jan-1998

Even worse, “…An epidemiologist termed day care centers ‘the open sewers of the twentieth century’.” Day Care Deception, by Brian C. Robertson, ©2003, p 87

Finally, “…the risks posed to infant and child health by day care are not going away.
…antibiotics are a fading asset; virulent new strains of disease resistant to these drugs now find their way into the (childcare) centers.”
“The Fractured Dream of Social Parenting” by Alan C. Carlson, Family Policy Review, ©2003

There’s a horrible litany of “Daycare-Related Illnesses” (DCRIs), as they are called… The War Against the Family by William D. Gairdner, ©1992, p342

Children attending day care are very good at sharing a number of bacterial, viral, and parasitic infections with each other. Day care is an ideal environment for the spread of disease among children, because: the children move about and interact with other, their personal hygiene is less than ideal, their ability to control their bodily secretions and excretions is poor, and their immune systems are not yet fully developed. Pediatric Dental Health website, by Dr. Daniel Ravel, DDS

“Daycare centers are cesspools of germs. They combine the worst of the respiratory infections that school-age children contract with gastrointestinal infections spread by younger kids, especially those not potty trained.” Harley A. Rotbart, M. D., a professor of pediatrics and microbiology at the University of Colorado and the author of Germ Proof Your Kids

Since daycares are like petri dishes for germs, it is no wonder that many doctors’ new patient information forms now ask, “Does the patient attend daycare”? Not too many years ago, these forms only used to ask about tobacco and alcohol use…

*Early exposure to germs and other organisms does cause more symptoms early in a child’s life, but without a counterbalancing health benefit later on, as was previously believed…
“Day Care May Not Shield Kids From Asthma, Allergies” (Study debunks ‘hygiene hypothesis’ that early exposures boost immune response)
Kathleen Doheny, HealthDay Reporter for U.S. News & World Report, 9-Sep 2009

(This is not meant to be an all-inclusive list. It only contains diseases referenced elsewhere on this website. For more information on a specific illness, type the name of the disease into the website’s SEARCH function.) Disclaimer: Medical information is not medical advice. Only a doctor can provide you with medical advice

http://www.daycaresdontcare.org/Disease/daycare_diseases.htm

Why Feminists Hate Housewives

“No women should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Women should not have that choice, because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one” (Feminist pioneer Simone de Beauvoir, Saturday Review, June 14, 1975).

The reason the daycare issue arouses such bitter antagonism is not only that it challenges the liberals who want to expand government social services by having the “village” take over raising children. The daycare issue also strikes at the heart of feminist ideology that it is oppression of women for society to expect mothers to care for their own children.

Feminist ideology teaches that equality for women depends on the government relieving women of the burden of child care so they can advance in the labor force. Any evidence that shows commercial daycare inferior to mother care, therefore, must be destroyed and the messengers vilified. ~ Feminist Fantasies

Out sourcing parenting. Universal daycare. The hidden goal of feminism is to destroy the family, which interferes with state brainwashing of the young. Side benefits include depopulation and widening the tax base. Displacing men in the role of providers also destabilizes the family.

Feminism is not about “choice.” It’s about destroying the institutions of marriage and family. That’s why stay at home moms are shamed and looked down upon.

The feminists have always wanted to have all kids in daycare. They tell women that taking care of small children is belittling and not worthy of the time and talent of an educated woman. Obama has completely adopted the feminist line.

He wants to deprive women of the choice of taking care of their own children, he’s not the first one to say that. That is straight down the line feminist ideology. In fact, it was first said by that big mama of women’s lib, Simone de Beauvoir, who taught all the college courses as a founder of feminism. She said, “No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise their children, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one and we don’t believe any women should have that choice.’”